So I have been working on my sleep schedule! IT IS HARD. For most of my life, I have been up late. My work is usually late at night- performing. But even when I was performing every night, I would usually come home afterward and do work at 11 pm at night. Growing up in high school I had dance class into the night and then would come home and do homework. I was never great at going to sleep. So this is a HUGE life change for me. On average I am trying to get to bed by 10:30 pm and wake up by 6:30 am. This way when I have to get up at 4:45 am it is not as hard as when I am waking up at 9 am on other days. I am getting better at waking up. But I am still cranky. I am slowly getting better at going to sleep. This is the hard thing for me. But the thing behind the thing- is the work part. I can’t let the day go. Some part of me is always saying that I have to achieve more before this day can be over. I haven’t accomplished enough from my to-do list. So the not going to sleep really comes from a deeper problem of feeling like I’m not doing enough. And if I haven’t achieved my worth in tasks for the day- no sleep for me. It’s a pretty ridiculous vicious cycle. One that I am slowing beginning to break. For me, it is starting with letting myself off the hook at the end of the night. I have got to stop working. I *GET to stop working. I have done enough. And my soul gets to rest. Not right before bed. But working towards this letting-go-of-work-thing a couple of hours before bed. My hope, my feeling, is that I am teaching my brain it gets to relax at the end of the day. That I have done enough. That I get the reward of relaxing! And how much more present could I be in my life if I consciously (and subconsciously) showed my body and mind that I have done enough- every day. Every single day this is available! This is clearly brand new information for me. So I am on my way to adjusting! And that is why there is a special (and late) Monday morning blog post! (because I missed Thursday).Â
I am almost to the end of Whole30! I cannot wait. For wine. That is definitely the most challenging part for me. But my body definitely needed a month with no alcohol. I know I said this when I did whole30 five months ago, but I just need to say again how amazing it is! If you decided to try it- you will see a difference in 7-10 days. The rules may seem silly or unnecessary, but they aren’t. Eating this way is better than any anti-inflammatory drug in my opinion. And I have been on prescription-strength anti-inflammatories more than I would like to admit. Eating this way cuts out all common allergens, and inflammatory food. I did not do this program to lose weight, but to feel better. Within 7-10 days my clothes fit better. Why? Because the inflammation was LEAVING my body! I mean how crazy is that. This program also is a reset for your tastebuds. It does not make cravings go away completely, but by the time you are done, they definitely lessen. And last time I found that when it came time to actually eating the foods I was craving, it didn’t feel as good to eat them. Because my body recognized the food as junk and not as nutrients. At a very basic level, this program requires you to eat consciously. Lately, I am very aware of how I am feeling. In my mind I recognize ‘Oh, I’m sad or mad or feeling blah’- and I notice these feelings because I don’t get to jump to eating a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine, I have to sit with it. Tomorrow is my final day! So close.Â
Cheers to all of you for making it through January!