What My Parents’ Got Right

When I was growing up if you asked me about my parents, I likely would have had lots to say about what they were doing wrong. About every little thing that I disagreed with, that I likely would tell you was not “good parenting”. Lately, I have been thinking about my parents a lot. And thinking hard about all of the ways they could have raised me but chose to raise me. I can’t help thinking about the things my parents got really right. 

When it comes to my career- I could not ask for more supportive parents. On the “supportive parent scale” of kids pursuing a career in the arts, they lay perfectly between “get a real job” and “stage mom/dad”. Not only do they support my endeavors in my artistic career- they believe in me. They believe in me probably more than anyone. They get my life (as much as one outside of it can) and never once have I had to explain to them why I am choosing this path and what is required of me on it. What it is going to take to pursue this life- and to not give up. What it is going to take to live here and get to where I want to go. 

I have felt the kind of belief from them that sees clearly the potential I have inside. And yet it truly has never tipped over into an unhealthy stage-mom place where someone is living vicariously through me or pushing me to imminent fame and fortune.

Another thing my parents got right- religion. Because obviously there is a right religion and they taught me the right one. Growing up I remember them telling me that they might have been raised in different religions, but they have the same values- and that was the most important thing. At several times growing up, this made no sense to me. What did they mean they had the same values? Shouldn’t their beliefs be more important to them? Shouldn’t they want to pass them on to me as well? Poor me not having parents who force me to believe what they believe! Eventually, it became clear to me that the freedom they gave me in my thoughts and beliefs was, although unusual, the biggest gift they could have given me. They gave me the gift of an open universe- with endless possibility that I could explore. They didn’t hand me a box for what my internal or external life needed to look like. And while at moments this was incredibly overwhelming- I look back with extreme gratitude. They handed me very little to unlearn when it came to a spiritual life. They didn’t claim to have the answers and invited me to consider my own answers. And honestly, that is the most I could ask for. 

I write this not to put anyone else’s parents down. But if you are reading this and you are a future parent- I want to share that these are things my parents did that made my life infinitely better. In my opinion- my parents got it right. They let me choose my path- and they have loved me and supported me the entire way. I write this to share and to thank them.