Flashback to several months ago. Me still in a boot half the time. I go to that audition that is actually a dance call. And by some miracle they let me stay without dancing at all and I make it to the final round of callbacks. To read the
The dance call was actually a blast. We started with tap which no one was expecting. They made some cuts and I got to stay and dance the jazz combo. I didn’t get asked to stay to sing, which of course was disappointing. But as I was walking away from the building I thought back on the audition. I felt really good about the way I danced. And I actually enjoyed it. I actually had fun. Woa- total win. Because those two things are very rare if I’m being completely honest. To actually feel good about the way I danced and to actually have enjoyed it. WIN. Of course there were things I could have done better. But that just gives me more fire for the next dance call.
The other women at the call were very kind to one another. Which was quite nice and quite refreshing. I had spent the morning at Steps- the dance studio I usually train at- and it sincerely felt like every person there was ready to stab someone in the back. (Except for in the floor barre classroom- we are very tame there). I still don’t get why dancers so often give off this energy like they’re going to kill someone. Or at the very least like everyone is annoying them and in their way. …It is possible that I am part of the problem. A friend of mine first met me at a dance call for college and he thought I was totally mean, rude, and scary. For the record I thought I was just focused. And probably ready to kill. But not another person- just the combo. Anyways. Back to the nice people at the dance call. I walked out of the building with a couple girls from the call. One of them was going back to sing in a couple hours. She told us that she had made it to final callbacks for this show before.
“Oh me too!” I laughed.
She continued- “…for the past four years.”.
“Ohhhhh wow. Not me not four years.”
“I’ve got to get it this year. It’s mine!”
“Go and get it girl. Do it.”
And I thought I had a journey with this show. Ha. I loved that this girl had made it to the final round every year. And she was still here. Her fire had not turned to bitterness. It had only grown into more determination. And that is the way! That is the way you get cast. You just keep coming back, and keep doing your thing. My voice teacher reminds me often, focus on the things you can control. Focus on the work. All I can control is my work. And like I said last week- many days- that’s all you get. Your own work. But this is what makes you an artist. Your work! So enjoy it! You get to create life that has never been created before when you step into any form in the performing arts. What a powerful and incredible gift.
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that I want. But it’s funny- I am very aware, more-so than I have been in the past, that I have no idea if what I want will be good for me or actually make me happy. There are many opportunities floating around me right now in the theatre and the fitness industry. Many of them feel like a dream life! It would be so cool to get this little gem- or that one. But I don’t actually know what is right for me. And I can’t actually
Let’s go be bold. And be kind to ourselves. Because we are safe here.
I did a lifestyle photoshoot a couple of weeks ago and here are a few shots from it! More will be on my website soon. jennahaimes.com.
I’m beginning to think that I love Thursdays as much as your mother. Great blog.
Bottom line, whatever path you take will be just perfect for you, all the ups and downs of anything will teach you exactly what you need to know. Look how much you learned after your injury which — at the time — was crushing.
You don’t have to figure it out ahead of time, just follow your bliss and stay as present and kind as you are. My two cents, anyway.
Thank you Susan! I always love your two cents :). Because it always makes so much sense. Hehe. <3
great photos!👍🏻😊
Thank you!!<3
❤️❤️❤️