More Thoughts on Casting Directors
I got to do a workshop with a couple casting directors for film this week! Which is new territory to me because film is so new to me. She addressed the group and the first thing she said was “You’re not allowed to ask me what I’m working on and you’re not allowed to ask me how I got into casting.” Then came the part where we were supposed to ask questions- so this was a funny segway. As class continued I quickly could tell that I enjoyed her as a person. She reminded me a bit of some of my extended family. Incredibly direct. Maybe a bit harsh. But also incredibly passionate and empathetic. She said “We are on the same team.” She said that if a casting director called you into a room to audition for a role- they already know you’re right for the role. They already think you can do it. And they are on your side. Just more thoughts about this. I have a visceral memory of being in a theatre dance class and the teacher asking everyone if the audition world was feeling more and more like “us” and “them”. Many people shook their head yes and many more vocalized, almost wining “Yessss”. I’m just not sure where this comes from. Perhaps this is still my naiveté talking and perhaps I haven’t met the casting directors that make you feel like shit. But so far- in my experience- they truly are all on our side. I mean their job is to literally provide projects with actors. They need us. Or they have no work either.
Dancing that Body
Speaking of dance class I was in one this week! With…. Drum roll, please…. My heels on! This may not seem like a big deal- but it is. Heels were the things that caused my foot injury in the first place and getting back into dancing in heels and re-orienting how I work in them is my next big step in recovery. Not only for recovery- but for the longevity of my career. This teacher is awesome. I’ve only taken his class one other time. He makes us do a gratitude practice and a mindfulness practice as part of the warm-up. I LOVE it. He said “We can only ever be present through our bodies. We can never be present through our mind.”. I feel like I have heard these words before, but today was like “Ah-HA”. When I go into my mind I am actually disconnecting with the present moment. To reconnect to the present moment it is always through the body- how is my breathing? How do I feel? Where is my tension? How do my feet feel on the floor? This was just so stunningly cool to me on this day. Our bodies are so powerful. They bring us back to the present when we get stuck in our heads. This was another great reminder that choreography is picked up quickly by the body, not the mind. And thinking harder is not going to help one get it faster. Letting go of thought and trusting the body is what will help with the speed of learning. And yet trusting the body can be so hard at times. If it has failed me before. If I have misused it. If there is so much emotional weight stored up in certain places. Blockages that stop the body from moving freely. Blockages that stop us from trusting. Let’s thank our bodies today. For carrying us through this world- and for telling us more about ourselves than we know how to listen to.
More of the Biz
I was thinking back on an audition I had last week. It was very exciting because it wasn’t a general audition- it was an appointment for a specific role with specific materials from the show to prepare. With these auditions they often ask you to prepare the whole packet they give you- but there is no guarantee that you will get to do it all. And this time I definitely didn’t get to. It was quit disappointing in the moment. But it was a great reminder- to enjoy the work itself. Because sometimes that’s all we actually get- the time we spent in preparation. So if no one else ever gets to see this work- what’s the point of it? Well if we don’t enjoy it- if we don’t let it fuel our artistic lives- there is no point. So don’t waste a moment of getting to do the work. No matter who will or will not see it. It’s not torture- it’s an opportunity for freedom.
The Buses
There are advertisements on the front of our public transport buses that are switched over periodically. For the longest time, they said “SEX”, advertising the Museum of Sex. It always surprised me even though I would see it every day. It’s just funny to see “SEX” in giant letters in random places all over the city. Like it’s following you. Well, now the buses say “EVIL”. Advertising a new tv series. Is this bothering anybody else? Like how is it okay that all of our buses just say “EVIL” in giant letters? This cannot be good for morale. And other things. On subconscious level. If your brain is reading the word “Evil” multiple times a day on large moving vehicles driving towards you- that’s gotta be doing something not good. I’m really not into it, I’ve just gotta say. Oh and by the way I’m not saying sex is evil! Totally separate things. Let’s be clear. One was funny and distracting. One is like- what? How is this okay?
Hey hey hey there are beaches in New York City! It took me long enough to make it to one. Nature is actually very nearby the city. It’s just taken me a while to navigate all of the sneaky ways to get out of the city affordably. My friend Aviona and I went!
My parents sent me this picture the other day and I almost started crying immediately. It’s just. So beautiful. It’s their hands if you were wondering. Hahaha. This picture to me means love.