HEY. I’m Back.

The Bike Ticket. 

Remember the bike ticket? That I got… almost a year ago? If you haven’t read that blog post it’s from September. Last September. You can take a gander by clicking HERE. And my court date from this bike ticket happened a few weeks ago. 

Joe came with me to the court room. Despite having my partner there and having spoke to my dad’s lawyer friend- I was so nervous. I felt like a criminal just stepping into a court room- and it was a traffic violation bureau. It wasn’t even a real court room. I look up on the board where the names and appointment times are listed. I don’t see my name up there. It isn’t up there. I wait in line to talk to one of the very cheerful people at the booths. Because workers at the traffic violation bureau are always in a good mood. I give the nice lady my ticket and she looks it up. 

“Your court date got moved”

“It did?…How was I supposed to know?”

“We don’t have your apartment number in your address, so we couldn’t mail you to tell you.”

“Why did it get moved?”

“There’s no way to know. Too busy. Or the cop couldn’t make it. It happens all the time.”

She hands me a paper with my new court date on it. It is now in June 2020. JUNE 2020. It is another WHOLE YEAR away. 

As we leave the building I tell Joe this stresses me out and makes me just want to pay it. He says “No! That’s what they want! We gotta fight this!” Or something like that. I tell my Dad’s lawyer friend what happened and he said “That’s great! That’s what we want!” It is? The system is so wacked. I don’t get it. So. The story of the bike ticket continues. 

The Gatekeepers.

The “gatekeepers”. The people who are able to give you a job in this industry. I know lots of people who call them the “gatekeepers”. My brain keeps running over this idea. Searching through it. Because it interests me. And something isn’t quite right. Gatekeepers- there are people who stand at the gates of artistic endeavors and get to decide who goes in and who doesn’t? But wait… that doesn’t work. I’ve already decided I’m an artist. I’m doing my art nearly every day. There are no gatekeepers stopping me from doing this. But it’s so easy to think of casting directors and directors as the gatekeepers. But is it truly the job of a casting director to keep certain people out of a job? HA. No! (Well- maybe a few cynics wake up every day and do this- but those people have issues that have nothing to do with you). It is actually the casting director’s job to find the right person for the right job. It is the exact opposite of a gate-keeper. If anything they are the gate-openers. But why is there a gate at all? Your art shouldn’t lie in some gated area somewhere- especially not one guarded by another human being other than yourself. 

I have been thinking about some of the casting directors I have met and begun relationships with over the past year. From what I know of them- they are good people. They love this industry. They love this art. And they love actors. They truly want the best for everyone. And they want to bring great opportunities to great artists. -Great ARTISTS. How can they give you a job if you are not already an artist on your own? -If you have somehow given them the responsibility and power of deciding you are an artist. That is not their job! They are not responsible for your career. And they ESPECIALLY are not responsible for your art. They are not holding onto it. They are not hiding it somewhere away from you. They are only responsible for putting together the right mix of paints so that the director can make a painting. And giving them any more power or responsibility than that is unfair. To them and to you. 

Let’s not build walls in our mind. The very term “Gatekeeper” separates you from yourself and from the work you want to do. It compartmentalizes the way you view yourself and the industry and your ability to reach the jobs you want to have. And this mindset truly will make all of the difference. The way you see things is the way they are for your world. So why not try to see a world where you are an artist. A thriving artist responsible for your own art and creative development. And career for that matter. And see this city for what it truly is. Not a bunch of walls with terrifying gatekeepers standing by. But a playground of endless opportunities to do your art. -And some opportunities that you don’t even have to make for yourself out of thin air. Because there are fairy godmothers who can give you opportunities in this magical land and they are called casting directors. 

The New News.

You guys I made a movie! Not me all by myself. That would be terrible. But I got to be in my first Independent feature film! Feature means full length film. Maybe you already knew that. I did not. Because this whole world of film is so new to me. And I am loving it. I mentioned a while back that I had joined a film class- with the encouragement from my parents. I was just slumping on the couch with my boot and that’s all I thought I’d do for months. And then they suggested film class! Which lead to lots of things which lead to this film! I am so grateful for this opportunity and for this new world of acting I am jumping into. And even better- I got to do this with some of my friends! It is so cool to make art with people that you have made art with before. #artisticrelationshipsarebomb.

Things I am discovering about film:

-There is a lightness in it for me. Because this wasn’t always my dream. It feels like the pressure is low- it feels so free! To pursue film with low stakes. 

-It is exhausting in a way completely different from how theatre feels to me. The days are long. And sometimes slow. And yet we made this film at a rapid pace! We made it in nine days straight. Which is unusual. Usually there would be days off in the middle of the project. But with this one we had to barrel right through. I think it is very similar to how a tech week feels for theatre. But longer.

-The editor has so much power in the film. They are the voice. They can take anything we do and edit it into a new meaning. As an actor in film you truly are just the paint. 

-I can’t watch film and TV the same now. Joe always used to comment on things about the film-making and editing as we would watch TV and it would drive me crazy. “Come onnnn you’re ruining itttttttt”. Now my own brain is ruining it. It is kinda fun though. 

Our film will be on AmazonPrime, Hulu, and itunes sometime next year. I am nervous to tell people about it! Protective is a better word. But in the words of Brene Brown- I’m in the arena. 

My Friends are Cool.

My friend Annie did a cabaret! You guys she saaaaanggg. It was such an honor to be in the audience. Look her up. 

My friend did a comedy show! He was enrolled in a class at the comedy cellar- and at the end he got to perform a 5 minute set along with the other students and some professionals. It was thrilling. One- I have never been to the cellar. It’s infamous! It was so cool to just be in there. And two- these PEOPLE. So brave. Honestly getting up and doing a comedy act sounds absolutely terrifying. And these people. DID it. I learned so much from watching them work through their first sets. I hope they go on to do more!

My friend Marek is going to Tokyo to be in a production of West Side Story. This production is going to be like no other theatrical production I have seen or heard of. The audience rotates and the set is around them. They have I think 8 different sets that the audience turns to and the full length of all the stages combined is about the size of 10 broadway houses. It will be epic. So basically if you are in Tokyo you have to go. Learn more about the incredible set here. 

I started Whole30-today! And I roped in a few friends including my mom. Wish us luck! 

Here are some photos from being on set for the film!