The Day You Don’t Give Up.

I went to an audition this week that I was excited about. I got up at 4:45am- because that’s what you do when you’re non-union and I have chosen not to join yet- and got to the line around 5:55am. I was surprised on this day how many people where already lined up. Some of them were non-eq and some of them were Equity, and I am EMC (basically in the middle) so I signed up on a different list and ended up being number 13. For those of you not in this theatre world- when you are EMC at this type of audition it means you wait around until all the people from the Equity alternate list are called. And they can turn up at any point in the day- and they will go before you. At the beginning of the call there were 30 on the alternate list and by the end of the day they had gotten up to over 110. (Yes, this seems very unfair, but it is part of the privilege of being in the union and someday I will love it.). If you are on the alternate list this means you wait until there are open slots in the day- meaning a time slot wasn’t filled or someone didn’t show up for their appointment. 

I went home after signing up and decided to take a short nap. (One of the glories of auditioning at the Equity building. Auditioning at other buildings means you have to stand in line for hours until the monitor arrives). It turned into a very long nap and I woke up and got ready as quickly as I could- because it seemed from an online message board that they were moving quickly through the alternate list. I was worried I’d miss my number. I rushed down there and arrived around 11:30am. They were no where close to me of course because the Alternate list had gone up so high. I waited around the whole day. It was quite fun though because I had friends around. It was not looking good for the EMC actors. It was definitely a no for the non-eq actors. I wasn’t too concerned because if I wasn’t seen today, I would try to get seen another way for this theatre. This particular theatre was only able to offer 5 Equity contracts per show- which means all the other tracks in show needed to be non-union (Ahem one of the reasons I haven’t joined the union. Theatres still need non-union actors). So anyways it was not looking good. Not a single person from the EMC list had been called. And then. At the very end of the day. The very last group of the day. We got to the EMC list. And half the people had left. And so we got meee!!!!! I was literally the very last person of THE DAY. Never give up hope ya’ll. I’m sure some people just had to go to work- that’s what happened to me frequently when I was working at the restaurant. But some people might have just given up and left. Never. Give. Up. These people I auditioned with are badasses. They all got up just as early as I did. And weren’t getting seen until the end of the call- 5:30pm- about 12 hours later. And this day they all had smiles on their faces. The people in this community are strong. They are amazing. At the Equity building there is a little holding room that you go into when you’re on deck- that has a door on either end of it.  The monitor always warns you when you get to the line not to sing or make noise in the holding room because it is not soundproof. When it was my turn in the holding room I accidentally farted. Very loudly. Whoops didn’t know I was holding that in there. Hopefully the holding room is just a little soundproof…. I did my audition and killed. -Basically when you go in there and you do your job that means you KILLED. Okay people? I’m tired of actors tearing themselves down. And the day was done. I was glad I showed up today. 

I was doing some research the other day about different actors and I came across a message board where I read about someone wondering about her height. It broke my heart to read a young actress, I believe she was in high school, wondering if she was too tall at 5’10” to do musical theatre. The responses were mixed and mostly supportive. But one person did respond telling her that what you look like definitely does matter in this business and does affect what you can be cast as. I have no idea how this message was translated in the mind of this high school student- but I know my mind at that age would have translated this into fear. I just want to make it clear- that no matter what you look like there will be challenges. Every single actor will run into this. So stop making it a problem. Maybe the 5’5” girls are easier to fit into your typical ensemble (it depends on the show). And yet there a gillion more 5’5” girls out there than 5’10” girls. So there’s more competition. I remember a teacher telling me a long time ago that my height will either be my strength or my problem- and I get to choose. And that is completely true! And it’s true for everyone- not matter what it is about you that makes you different. It can either be your problem or your strength. And truly deciding in your mind which it is- will teach other people how to look at you. Growing into myself (At six full feet tall- I know you were wondering) I have found it so exciting to find how many roles are actually perfect for me. And I love finding the roles that are perfect for my friends who are so different from me. And there are so many roles that are perfect for YOU. This art is about humans- and that means we need humans to tell the stories. All kinds of humans. So be you and let it be your strength.

 

Another adventure of Boot Girl: I crutched past two little girls two days in a row walking home from the subway by the river. They were both walking with their mom’s and they were both very excited to see me and waved at me. I don’t know what it is about this boot- but I never got waved at by little girls without it. It is likely the crutches that are exciting to little girls as well. It was like they could see how hard I was working to move myself down the street and they gave me a little gleeful wave to lighten my load.