It is almost vacation. Therefore I have no cohesive thoughts. No insight really. My mind is mushy thinking about being on the beach and having drinks with my cousins. So here are a bunch of chopped up thoughts.
A woman at a table complimented my eyeshadow. She was kind. I told her I had an audition today and so I made it look nice. She asked what the audition was for. I explained that it was for a regional production of Chicago. She asked where. I told her Arkansas. She was so surprised by this. I explained that many theaters (Likely most union regional theaters) hold auditions in New York. She told me she had no idea. I explained many actors move here because this is where all the theaters audition. It was funny to me- realizing that many people probably don’t know how it works. I guess they have no reason to know. I remember a long time ago hearing about theaters “hiring out of New York”. It sounded so fancy to me at the time. It probably does sound fancy to people. The funny thing is- most of the actors that are hired out of New York are not even from New York. Because most of the actors here are not from New York. I would say the whole country is represented in the New York- actor population. They are just fancy New York Actors from other fancy places. Like Arkansas. And Colorado.
I often see large feathers on the sidewalk as I walk down my street. From the birds that were here but have left for the winter. It is so strange. I know the birds are fine. And they loose feathers naturally….right? They loose feathers but they’re fine….like they’re not dying when they loose them….hmmm. Haha. Seeing the feathers on the ground like that feels like a reminder of an old friend that has gone away. I realized today that I missed the birds. Then I laughed at myself for missing the birds.
Santacon. Is. Not. A. Joke. It is also not a drill. Santacon means there will absolutely be thousands of drunk people dressed like Santa staggering through New York City. The subway announcement that morning had a special message in it- to keep track of young children. And if traveling in a group it would be smart to all wear something the same like a brightly colored hat. This was funny to me one-because there would be thousands of people ALL wearing the same brightly colored hat- a Santa hat. And two- does this announcement mean that people go missing a lot on Satna-con?! That is not funny. But the whole thing is just so absurd. It felt like an alternate reality. I worked at my restaurant that day. At 11:00am as we opened there was already a line of people outside waiting to bust in with their Santa gear and get wasted. Santa-con sounded kind of fun to me before hand. Even the first hour- I was like “I love Christmas music!”. By the fifth or sixth round of “All I Want For Christmas is You” being screamed by hundreds of drunk maniacs packed in around me I wasn’t sure if it was fun or if it was a very scary version of hell. I spent about 7 hours that day blowing my whistle very loudly to push through the crowds to deliver drinks to the masses and fighting with all my might not to spill and drop everything each time I was inevitably knocked into.
I was listening to an interview of a tv actor this week. He talked a little about having learning disabilities growing up. And it dawned on me- why is it called a learning disability? People that are labeled as having a learning disability are usually capable of something extraordinary. Why aren’t we telling certain people that they have an imagination disability? Instead we are telling certain people that they have a learning disability. It makes no sense. Just because they learn differently doesn’t mean they are disabled. It means their extraordinary abilities have nothing to do with our current “standard” ways of learning and “standard testing”. It’s actually crazy to me when I really think about it this way.
Sometimes I am very shy. Not always. But sometimes I just don’t have the will, energy, or drive to open myself up and interact when thrown into a new group of people. I think back to when I was younger, when I was growing up. It seems like I really wasn’t shy at all. In my memory (as a kid) most things didn’t scare me especially not a group of people. Maybe it was something to do with almost always being around people I knew already- and had known since kindergarten. Maybe if I was constantly being thrown into new groups of people I would have been much more shy. Like now. Eh it depends on the day.
I started catering. (As you may have read in my previous post). And I love it. …Lets not get out of control here I don’t love it like I love my art. But for a day job. Its such an interesting thing. You get a peek into how other people live and it is incredible. People are very fancy. It is a great character study.
Today I was in the gym and this very strong guy asked this other strong guy to spot him as he did a dumbbell overhead press. The spotter strong guy kept his finger tips right at the sitting strong guy’s elbows as he lifted the heavy weights. It was kind of sweet. And very funny to me for some reason. I don’t think they knew each other. But ‘they love each other’ I thought to myself. ‘They love each other so much.’ It was funny to see the big gym bro’s caressing each other’s arms. Then I realized I was staring and that was embarrassing. I just loved their love.
So close to Florida. I can taste it. Or it’s the coquito I taste. My friend from work made it! It is delicious. It’s like eggnog. But better if you ask me. Thank you Melissa!!!!
This is our tree and our Menorah (on the last night of Hanukkah). They are friends. Happy Hanukkah!
