Last Saturday I was riding the subway on my way downtown to see my boyfriend’s show (YAY). I had gotten a seat on the train but it was becoming fairly crowded. I had my headphones in and was doing something on my phone when I noticed two woman come on the train who must have been in their 70’s or 80’s. I asked if either of them would like to sit down and they refused profusely. The first lady, we’ll call her Deirdre, told me that she was considering petitioning there to be a rule that if you are on your phone on the subway you have to stand. -I’m not sure why that rule would make any sense whatsoever, but it made me laugh and I tried to give her my seat again. No luck. The second lady-we’ll call her Marge- told me how things are so different now- that there didn’t even used to be air conditioning on the trains. And back then they had to where gloves and hats and full length everything. That truly sounded awful. Now if you have the bad luck of getting a car with no AC, you usually quickly move to another car. Or sit there and try not to have a panic attack. Marge laughed and admitted that she could truly say anything she wanted about ‘how it was back then’ and I would have to believe her because I wasn’t there. Deirdre somehow got on the subject of needing to purchase something and I told her she could buy it online- she then informed me that she never buys anything online and that Amazon was destroying the world.
“More boxes, more trucks on the road- no thank you.”
Marge tried to stand up for Amazon in that it was providing more jobs for people. Deirdre had no time for this.
“Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to be in politics. Someone sent me a Christmas present through Amazon and I had it returned.”.
I didn’t point out that this only added to the more trucks on the road problem. But I don’t think that would have mattered to her- she had to take a stand. Marge asked me if I thought New Yorkers were mean (after learning that I was from Colorado).
“Not at all!” I told her.
“There’s a story about New Yorkers”, she told me, “You ask a New Yorker how to get to the Empire State Building and they will tell you ‘A few blocks this way, turn left, and you’re there.’ You ask a mid-westerner where the Empire State Building is and they will invite you to hop in their car and give you a sandwich and drive you there.”
Gosh I loved Marge. She was the gentlest lady with strength you get only from New York.
“No, I assure you I don’t think New Yorkers are mean… but also my family is from Cleveland soo…..”
This delighted her. -The ‘New Yorkers aren’t mean’ part. Then it was time for them to get off. All the while I was sitting down like a privileged little girl and they were standing beside me sharing their stories.
I saw a girl on the train last night and asked her to take my picture for my blog. She was awesome. She had cupcakes. She told me she had just come from a Shiva- which is a celebration of life for her friend that had passed away on Sunday. She asked about my blog and I learned that she was also an actor, moved here from Kansas three years ago. She was super cool. If your reading this, train girl, thank you.
Later on the train ride home the guy across from me started clipping his fingernails. Uhh just to make sure you heard me, CLIPPING HIS FINGERNAILS. I looked down to the end of the subway at a woman who was as horrified as I was. She slowly but intensely shook her head at me in mutual disgust. I tried not to vomit as I watch him brush his nails off his lap and onto the ground. THIS is why there’s no “grooming” allowed on the subway people. It did however bring me into connection with the girl at the end of the train. We didn’t know each other. But sharing this disgusting experience we were connected.
These are the kind of things that can happen on the subway. Before I moved to New York I remember specifically being afraid of the subway. Not really because of danger. Or because of getting lost. I was more afraid that being underground so much, in a dark place, would bring me despair. That that might be the thing that led me to unhappiness. That fear was so far from the truth. Most of the time I do keep to myself. But I love the time. Where I am literally separate from all of the world above. Yes, in a dark space, but a meditative space. Where there are no demands on me. I don’t even have to drive myself. I can just be. When the cars are crowded it is stressful. It is exhausting. But sometimes its a beautiful thing. There are dozens of other people there with you-sharing this experience. And you don’t even have to talk to them. And we are all on our way somewhere. This shared experience has led me to have connections with complete strangers instantly, in ways I never would with random people on the streets somewhere else. I love the stories I witness on the trains. I am learning that even if your fears come true- it never happens the way fear tells you it will. My fellow New Yorkers or “New New Yorkers”- enjoy the ride. And keep your ears peeled. Opportunities for connection are everywhere.
Here is me connecting with total strangers on the Subway!
….Just kidding. It’s my Dad and my boyfriend.